EUVYCHIN

Echin-Escalona Wedding - 10.08.11

2012-01-19T13:54:00.002+08:00

Echin-Escalona Wedding - 10.08.11, San Vicente de Paul Church, Manila from USANA XTRM 1-11 Jun-Ivy Echin on Vimeo.

THIS IS THE MOMENT of TOGETHERNESS This is the moment Where our separate lives end Where two flesh becomes one Where two hearts beat as one Where hands are held tightly Where minds are set to share more joys, to share mild and gentle sorrows, to share some pains, to share more happiness, to share lots of love, to share more hope, to share a common faith, to share lasting peace. This is the moment Two lives then, now lived as one A lifetime of togetherness Has now begun...

Just a new discovery...

2011-09-22T13:56:00.000+08:00

Word of the Day

Word of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary

Article of the Day

Article of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary

This Day in History

This Day in History provided by TheFreeDictionary

Today's Birthday

Today's Birthday provided by TheFreeDictionary

In the News

In the News provided by TheFreeDictionary

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day provided by The Free Library

Spelling Bee

Spelling Bee provided by TheFreeDictionary

Match Up

Match Up provided by TheFreeDictionary

Hangman

Hangman provided by TheFreeDictionary

WHAT HAPPENED?!?: Thoughts on The Hostage Drama on Aug. 23.

2010-08-25T13:58:00.006+08:00

This is the first time, in the whole history of the Philippines, that I have heard an hostage drama to take a 12-hour round and finish in a bloody scene. Yes. The recent hostage drama took place at the Quirino Grandstand, Manila, fronting Luneta Park, along the long highways of Roxas Boulevard, last August 23, 2010, which ended at roughly ten in the evening. The hostages were Chinese nationals and the hostage taker, a Filipino policeman fighting for his rights, Mr. Rolando Mendoza. This scene created a big impact to the image of the Philippines, especially its police force, and our relationship with China, especially in HongKong, who, after hearing this sad news, had placed the Philippines in its list of countries unsafe for travel (in high-level black alert). Looking into the depths of the story, wherever you look at it, it is our country's lack of consideration to our police force and the salaries and benefits they get, lack of support from the government, lack of safety practices for our policemen to ensure that hostages are kept safe and unharmed, and lack of principle and much reliance and belief on a person who just made a statement without verifying the whole condition and situation of the hostages and the hostage-taker, when just because one person stated that "everyone is already dead" ("patay na lahat...wala na...patay na ang lahat..." --- the trauma-stricken statement of the driver of the bus who escaped and survived), that made this big scene have a bloody ending. Yes. It is our fault. Yet, this incident was something of the bizarre. Something far from the thoughts of many Filipinos that would happen to this country, not to expect being done by a policeman, who is known to be the Most Outstanding Police Officer for his unparalleled service to the public. Pardon me for stating that "it is our fault" for in fact, it is, no matter how we turn the tables. But then again, this is something we do not want. We did not want these things to happen. We did not intend to make this happen. It was all a product of the lack-ness of many things that prompted Mr. Mendoza to waste his life like this just so justice may be served on his favor. This is a call for a change in our system. The WHOLE PHILIPPINE SYSTEM. But, I pray we could all be one in praying for all the victims of this tragedy, even those who were at fault that they may be enlightened. God bless this country!

NOTHING ON YOU - B.O.B feat. Bruno Mars

2010-07-19T17:14:00.000+08:00

Nothin on You – B.O.B Feat Bruno Mars Music Code

2010-01-19T11:58:00.001+08:00

Don’t Dream It’s Over – Sixpence None the Richer Music Code

2010-01-19T11:54:00.001+08:00

There She Goes – Sixpence None the Richer Music Code

The President Who Died a Heroine

2009-08-03T11:12:00.005+08:00

It was a difficult battle. A pain that put her bedridden. A disease that immobilized her. Who could've thought that the only thing that could stop her was cancer? Yes. The cancer that laid her there today inside a cold wooden room filled with white silky clothes wrapped around her as her children, and her children's children look over her in tears. It is that Disease that made millions mourn and pray for her. But you see, she still won the battle. And Yes, she did! She won battles even before. She won and became the First Lady President of her country. She won over a tyrant. She won the hearts of many who were slaves and captives of her predecessor, the Tyrant. She won over her own disease. Glorified by the lips of those who mourn for her today. Praised by many of those who knew her even beyond this country. A roaring name that put down a regime of injustice and raised the spirits of those who suffered with her when her husband was assasinated. The name that made this nation proud of democracy. An icon of true freedom. The name that made the heavens exalt her. It is she. The one we mourn today as we pray for tomorrow, that in her passing, we would all remember the freedom, the justice, the democracy we attained now be never be forgotten in all generations, was all because of her courage, her strength and her belief in God and in united prayer. She is Maria Corazon C. Aquino. A former president. Died a heroine.

A NATION TIRED OF BETRAYERS IN GOVERNMENT

2009-06-11T14:14:00.004+08:00

Revolutions, protests, and rallies. These are signs of a nation tired of being betrayed over and over again by political leaders who have been elected to office and have served no one but thermselves. How many of us today are already tired of this game they play on us innocent and ordinary people of this nation? How many of us today are convinced that once and for all, the leaders of this nations should be changed? How many of us wants this change in our political system? How many? ---- ALL THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION. Talk about a leader who doesn't make a move to look into the roots of poverty of her nation and still enjoys the billions of money coming to her...and all she does is travel... What does this nation really need? A leader who knows how to see the inventions of her people as part of this nation and funds them to be used by her nation. A leader who knows how to go deep into issues unresolved until they are solved and the solution benefits the nation. A leader who seeks more to eradicate PERMENENTLY, the poverty that puts the life of this nation in danger. A leader who supports the strengths of her people in all its aspects and gives more to strengthen them and encourage the nation to do more. A leader who truly leads by example. Not a cheater. Not a corrupt official. Not a betrayer of her nation. A leader who steps up for her nation and boosts her nation's identity, character, and especially her nation's culture and heritage beyond anything else. A leader who can be called upon, approached upon, and one whom everybody can lean on in times of crises, tragedies and calamities. A leader who will proudly represent its nation and whom everyone is proud of to represent the country. A leader who follows and not just leads. A leader who submits herself to no one but to God and her nation. During these hard times, where rallies, protests and revolutions are heating up, as a leader, try asking yourself: HAVE I LED MY PEOPLE WELL? HAVE I LED MY NATION TO RAISE IT OR PUT IT DOWN? WAS I A GOOD LEADER? OR A BETRAYER OF THE GOVERNMENT I WAS ELECTED INTO? It is this nation's right to protest that the future of the next generation will not be living hell for them.

Something Hilarious But True

2009-04-20T15:25:00.003+08:00

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READING TO RELEASE STRESS..... This is so funny...take time to read all the way to the end. The following is from a British journalist stationed in the Philippines . His observations are so hilarious!!! ! This was written in 1999. Matter of Taste By Matthew Sutherland I have now been in this country for over six years, and consider myself in most respects well assimilated. However, there is one key step on the road to full assimilation, which I have yet to take, and that's to eat BALUT. The day any of you sees me eating balut, please call immigration and ask them to issue me a Filipino passport. Because at that point there will be no turning back. BALUT, for those still blissfully ignorant non-Pinoys out there, is a fertilized duck egg. It is commonly sold with salt in a piece of newspaper, much like English fish and chips, by street vendors usually after dark, presumably so you can't see how gross it is. It's meant to be an aphrodisiac, although I can't imagine anything more likely to dispel sexual desire than crunching on a partially formed baby duck swimming in noxious fluid. The embryo in the egg comes in varying stages of development, but basically it is not considered macho to eat one without fully discernable feathers, beak, and claws. Some say these crunchy bits are the best. Others prefer just to drink the so-called 'soup', the vile, pungent liquid that surrounds the aforementioned feathery fetus...excuse me; I have to go and throw up now. I'll be back in a minute. Food dominates the life of the Filipino. People here just love to eat. They eat at least eight times a day. These eight official meals are called, in order: breakfast, snacks, lunch, merienda, merienda ceyna, dinner, bedtime snacks and no-one-saw-me- take-that- cookie-from- the-fridge-so- it- doesn't-count. The short gaps in between these mealtimes are spent eating Sky Flakes from the open packet that sits on every desktop. You're never far from food in the Philippines . If you doubt this, next time you're driving home from work, try this game. See how long you can drive without seeing food and I don't mean a distant restaurant, or a picture of food. I mean a man on the sidewalk frying fish balls, or a man walking through the traffic selling nuts or candy. I bet it's less than one minute. Here are some other things I've noticed about food in the Philippines : Firstly, a meal is not a meal without rice - even breakfast. In the UK , I could go a whole year without eating rice. Second, it's impossible to drink without eating. A bottle of San Miguel just isn't the same without gambas or beef tapa. Third, no one ventures more than two paces from their house without baon (food in small container) and a container of something cold to drink. You might as well ask a Filipino to leave home without his pants on. And lastly, where I come from, you eat with a knife and fork. Here, you eat with a spoon and fork. You try eating rice swimming in fish sauce with a knife. One really nice thing about Filipino food culture is that people always ask you to SHARE their food. In my office, if you catch anyone attacking their baon, they will always go, 'Sir! KAIN TAYO!' ('Let's eat!'). This confused me, until I realized that they didn't actually expect me to sit down and start munching on their boneless bangus. In fact, the polite response is something like, 'No thanks, I just ate.' But the principle is sound - if you have food on your plate, you are expected to share it, however hungry you are, with those who may be even hungrier. I think that's great! In fact, this is frequently even taken one step further. Many Filipinos use 'Have you eaten yet?' ('KUMAIN KA NA?') as a general greeting, irrespective of time of day or location. Some foreigners think Filipino food is fairly dull compared to other Asian cuisines. Actually lots of it is very good: Spicy dishes like Bicol Express (strange, a dish named after a train); anything cooked with coconut milk; anything KINILAW; and anything ADOBO. And it's hard to beat the sheer wanton, cholesterolic frenzy of a good old-fashioned LECHON de leche (roast pig) feast. Dig a pit, light a fire, add 50 pounds of animal fat on a stick, and cook until crisp. Mmm, mmm... you can actually feel your arteries constricting with each successive mouthful. I also share one key Pinoy trait ---a sweet tooth. I am thus the only foreigner I know who does not complain about sweet bread, sweet burgers, sweet spaghetti, sweet banana ketchup, and so on. I am a man who likes to put jam on his pizza. Try it! It's the weird food you want to avoid. In addition to duck fetus in the half-shell, items to avoid in the Philippines include pig's blood soup (DINUGUAN); bull's testicle soup, the strangely-named 'SOUP NUMBER FIVE' (I dread to think what numbers one through four are); and the ubiquitous, stinky shrimp paste, BAGOONG, and it's equally stinky sister, PATIS. Filipinos are so addicted to these latter items that they will even risk arrest or deportation trying to smuggle them into countries like Australia and the USA , which wisely ban the importation of items you can smell from more than 100 paces. Then there's the small matter of the purple ice cream. I have never been able to get my brain around eating purple food; the ubiquitous UBE leaves me cold. And lastly on the subject of weird food, beware: that KALDERETANG KAMBING (goat) could well be KALDERETANG ASO (dog)... The Filipino, of course, has a well-developed sense of food. Here's a typical Pinoy food joke: 'I'm on a seafood diet. 'What's a seafood diet?' 'When I see food, I eat it!' Filipinos also eat strange bits of animals --- the feet, the head, the guts, etc., usually barbecued on a stick. These have been given witty names, like DIDAS' (chicken's feet); 'KURBATA' (either just chicken's neck, or 'neck and thigh' as in 'neck-tie'); 'WALKMAN' (pigs ears); 'PAL' (chicken wings); HELMET' (chicken head); 'IUD' (chicken intestines), and BETAMAX' (video-cassette- like blocks of animal blood). Yum, yum. Bon appetit. 'A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches'-- (Proverbs 22:1) WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, one of the first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since. The first unusual thing, from an English perspective, is that everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom , we have nicknames in kindergarten, but when we move into adulthood we tend, I am glad to say, to lose them. The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both girls and boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as overbearingly cutesy for anyone over about five. Fifty-five-year- olds colleague put it. Where I come from, a boy with a nickname like Boy Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre-adolescent bullies, and never make it to adulthood. So, probably, would girls with names like Babes, Lovely, Precious, Peachy or Apples. Yuk, ech ech. Here, however, no one bats an eyelid. Then I noticed how many people have what I have come to call 'door-bell names'. These are nicknames that sound like -well, doorbells. There are millions of them. Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be, and frequently are, used in even more door-bell-like combinations such as Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong, Ting-Ting, and so on. Even our newly appointed chief of police has a doorbell name Ping . None of these doorbell names exist where I come from, and hence sound unusually amusing to my untutored foreign ear. Someone once told me that one of the Bings, when asked why he was called Bing, replied, 'because my brother is called Bong'. Faultless logic. Dong, of course, is a particularly funny one for me, as where I come from 'dong' is a slang word for well; perhaps 'talong' is the best Tagalog equivalent. Repeating names was another novelty to me, having never before encountered people with names like Len-Len, Let-Let, Mai-Mai, or Ning-Ning. The secretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual one: Leck-Leck. Such names are then frequently further refined by using the 'squared' symbol, as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very confused for a while. Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with the same letter, as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy. More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy (notice the names get worse the more kids there are-best to be born early or you could end up being a Baboy). Even better, parents can create whole families of, say, desserts (Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie) or flowers (Rose, Daffodil, Tulip). The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great painted across your trunk if you're a cab driver. That's another thing I'd never seen before coming to Manila -- taxis with the driver's kids' names on the trunk. Another whole eye-opening field for the foreign visitor is the phenomenon of the 'composite' name. This includes names like Jejomar (for Jesus, Joseph and Mary), and the remarkable Luzviminda (for Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao , believe it or not). That's a bit like me being called something like Engscowani' (for England , Scotland , Wales and Northern Ireland ). Between you and me, I'm glad I'm not. And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the randomly inserted letter 'h'. Quite what this device is supposed to achieve, I have not yet figured out, but I think it is designed to give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It results in creations like Jhun, Lhenn, Ghemma, and Jhimmy. Or how about Jhun-Jhun (Jhun2)? How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where imagination and exoticism rule the world of names. Even the towns here have weird names; my favorite is the unbelievably named town of Sexmoan (ironically close to Olongapo and Angeles). Where else in the world could that really be true? Where else in the world could the head of the Church really be called Cardinal Sin? Where else but the Philippines ! Note: Philippines has a senator named Joker, and it is his legal name. THE GODDESS' NOTE: This article was emailed to me by my cousin. So now, for fireigners who have spent months or years in the Philippines... what beautiful memories do you have about our country... what have you got to say about being in the Philippines and mingling with Filipinos?

The Concept of Death

2009-03-30T11:36:00.004+08:00

Death is a part of the human life cycle that, more often than not, causes sorrow and depression to the bereaved family or friend or loved one. But what is Death really? Is it just a part of the human life cycle? Is it just our bodies being put into a long slumber until our bodies return to dust? Most of us see Death as the end of our lives. We see it as the finish line to all our desires, committments, works and treasured moments, anxieties, fears, etc. We see it as simply our soul departing from this world while our bodies are being prepared to rot with clay. But little do we know that when we die, as our soul depart from our earthly bodies, that same soul has its ability to get in contact with people far from it, as far as its memory reaches just after departing from the body. It has its own ability to make its presence known to the living it many forms: insects, shadows, butterflies, candles scents, floral scents, rotting flowers, or through dreams. Most of us also conclude that when a person is dead, they are gone forever. NO! They were never really gone. They are just in a different world apart from the world we, the living, are in. We call that world, Paradise. How can they be gone forever if their memories, even in our simple minds, still linger on? How can they be gone forever if the good (or bad) deeds and works they have done are still remembered? How can they be gone forever if their names are left written in the hearts of their loved ones? How can they be gone forever if we have always believed that one day, some day, when we pass this world, we will again see them in Paradise? How can they be gone forever if their favorite stuff are still left displayed in our shelves? How can they be gone forever if their pictures are still left standing on tha table that when we see it we couldn't even stop reminiscing the old times we have spent while they were still alive? Death is a process by which the human soul departs from the body and walks among other spirits in a different world or plane. As a Catholic, I always believe that there are three constant planes on Earth: Heaven, Purgatory and Hell. I believe that when we die, we are placed in purgatory where our soul is being prepared and cleansed. Unless our soul reaches that cleanliness and purity, we might not get to Heaven with God our Father, with Jesus our Brother, with the Holy Spirit our Friend, with Mary our Mother, with the saints and angels our guardians. Our soul rises with Jesus if our soul is pure and sinless. If the soul is not pure and unclenased and has a little chance of getting into its pure state because there was too much stain of sin, then it goes to the furnace of Hell, which no good-Christian-living human would want to go to unless have chosen to be into. So you, what is Death to you now? (***dedicated to the bereaved Family of Mrs. Bebona B. Fajardo***)

ENOUGH OF YOU

2008-11-28T16:28:00.005+08:00

There are a lot of people in this world that are simply unforgettable. People like you...you, who have been a part of my life for so long...you, who have been inside me, lingering in my head, into my heart, and in the depths of my being. You, who has been far from me since we went to college. You, who have forgotten me for so long and now has recognized me, yet no longer inside your soul like I was before. You, who left me, depressed, insane, grieving, hurting, lonely, alone. You...so much of you inside me that knowing what you are now, married and happy and apart from me. That's the last. I didn't win this battle. No! I lost it all. I waited. I was no longer available when you came back, as well as you...taken and no longer free. Now, I can turn your tapes to crushed films.... I can burn your letters... I can tear our happy picture on the 10th of October. I've had enough of those memories. I've had enough of those happy thoughts. I've had enough of everything we had... I've had enough of you... Enough.

For Those Who Hate Us

2008-10-22T11:03:00.003+08:00

I write today as a vigilant Filipino who loves her country as well as her fellow-Filipinos. I'm writing for all Filipinos, as well as for those who hate us for some reasons. I'm jotting down my statements in enumeration as well as my thoughts about "an open hate letter" from a certain American, by the name Art Bell. Thought #1. Filipinos are not perfect. So are you. Thought #2. Filipinos are known to be of the Malay-Indo race. This makes us Asian at some point or another. However, our ancestors were from the Aetas, whose ethnic group live in the province of Pampanga. Thought #3. Filipinos are hospitable. Thought #4. Filipinos are not defined by their race. We are defined by the ways we show respect to our elders by saying "opo" and the "pagmamano" (or blessing) tradition. We have kept that for a very long time. Thought #5. Though we have diverse cultures, races, dialects, customs, norms, literature and even music, yet, these diversity is our own uniqueness as Filipinos. Thought #6. Identity? The first 5 statements I gave is our IDENTITY as Filipinos. In addition, Filipinos are more patient, more diligent, hardworking, industrious, family-oriented, and above all, loves and fears God above all else. Aren't these the very reasons why countries like yours depend on us for domestic help? Go figure! Some of us may have been into other kinds of work (this includes becoming a prostitute). But, what pushes these people to become what they are is the fact that they strive to give their families better lives. Thought #7. Philippines is a Third World country indeed. But, aren't the best inventors and performers come from us? We give pride to our nation in our lowliness. This gives us pride in ourselves. No human being, not even YOU who hate us can steal that pride away from us. We may fall over and over again. Our feet are more grounded than yours. This makes the fall a bit hurting. This makes us stand up again and again and become better people. Thought #8. Find our identity you say? Read our poems! Read our literature! Read and sing our songs! Our identity as Filipinos are written all over it! Thought #9. We 'puke' you say... At least we don't hide from the truth. In the end, let's see who will smell filthier....??? Thought #10. Take a look at our youngest and most celebrated International Star, Charice Pempengco... She made big waves roar all over the world because of her strong and forceful voice. Charlie Green, the young British-American Star. Charice is 16 years old. Charlie is around 11 years old. Gabby Dela Merced, our lady in the Racing camp...she has been number one in racing and is up to drive for Formula 1. Armando Balite, the Filipino who invented the Armalite which you guys use today for war. A Filipino computer science student was the one who invented the most dreaded "ILOVEU" virus and is praised by other countries. We invented the engine that uses water or hydrogen instead of gas. Those are a few of what we can be proud of because other men from other countries including yours who also have been proud of us. I wrote these things to defend my countrymen. Your insults will be a challenge for us. It hurts how much you hate us and yet we have given ourselves so freely and with whom we have accepted though your eyes see the "shadows" in us. I guess, somehow, I hope, I have given light to you that you may see the brightness of who we really are. WE ARE FILIPINOS! Nations may have come to conquer us but we have protected it with our lives and we will continue to protect it until the end.

LOVE is GREAT FEELING

2008-05-26T13:21:00.005+08:00

It's funny how we individuals turn from babies to toddlers to playful kids to puberty to adolescence then to adults. It's also strange when and how we shift our mindsets, ideals, emotions, and opinions from the childish to the most mature dispositions. But, the most mysterious of all the things that happen to human beings everyday is how LOVE has become a constant part of everyday life; an abstract feeling which we have for different people, in different occasions and in different ways. Love...

Somehow it turns many different lives upside down and makes them go around. The challenge is the way we handle the feeling when it is growing stronger or slowly dying down. It has it's differences but it remains the constant word for the feeling... love for a mother/father/both, love for a sister/brother, love for a cousin, love for a niece/nephew, love for an uncle/auntie, love for grandparents, love for a boss, love for a co-worker, love for friends, love for an ordinary stranger, or a love for a special someone... however we call that love we feel for that certain person, it is still love and the test is how we show that we do; the difference is the way it is shown to them. What makes love a great feeling is when one learns to just give himself/herself to that someone without hesitations, without prejudice, without waiting/wanting/asking for something in return. It's a great feeling when one learns to just let go while love fills in everything inside the heart. You know you have felt love when you have learned to just listen and obey without hesitation or regret... You know you are in love when all you see, feel and smell around you, even in your dreams, is that one special someone... You know you have love when you just give and give without thinking about asking them or wanting them or even waiting for them to reciprocate the feeling... You know you feel it when your world revolves around that person, never wanting him/her to let go... You know you have it, when "Yes" is the only answer to a proposal of "I do's" with that one person... And lastly, you know you are and have learned and accepted that you have love, if dying for that person doesn't even scare you a bit... =) That's how great it is... Maybe, it was the same when Jesus felt it too for all of us that it feels so good to have given up your life for a friend, and that we feel so good knowing He loves us until the end.

LOTUS

2007-09-19T12:13:00.002+08:00

I am the Lotus. The one who breathes in waters of grief with my arms and fingers all outstretched covering the rivers, the lakes, the fountain waters, learning to breathe, to hold... and to sleep. I am the Lotus. I stand on waters of injuries waiting for strength when scarred with dirt my body is surrounded with dark, polluted waves engulfing my skin but I live while I bleed. I am the Lotus. Thriving while my body's wounds do not get into my Crown -- A petal of many hues. -- Though my body is wounded my flesh all scarred and dirty, my mind filled with emptiness and spots of grief and disgust my being stands still, alive, breathing – living – blooming – beautifully.

Hobby turned To Reality

2007-07-11T14:41:00.000+08:00

This time I have a big break. It has been a long-term dream. My hobby is now turning into a reality. Actually, there's not much to say these days. I got the same routine, the same position, the same career with an on-going masteral hanging around my head to pursue and finish by, in God's will, this school year.

This new thing about me is a real BIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGG break and one of the GREATEST, I mean really the GREATEST blessing I have received in my life. Not everyone knows that I'm an avid fan of the Holy Words of God in the Bible. I'm a sinner though just like everyone else in the world (except for those who do not accept that they are, if there is anyone who don't....). A blessing indeed because, my poems and essays nor the songs I compose may not be read or heard and sang by others, yet God, Who gave me the talent to write such creative works, blessed me and indeed gave this wonderful opportunity to use my hand to write about His love for all humankind even way back history. Talk about writing on WOMEN IN THE BIBLE? Thanks to Tito Rollie Estrada, my guide when I was just a contributor and God's messenger, too, in bringing me into this kind of craft. God used him to call me for the Vineyard and to make WOMEN In The BIBLE a regular series for the parish newsletter.

I guess this is also God's one way of saying that I, though a sinner, is still His child, so I could praise Him all my life and to never forget that He is with me, while Mama Mary intercedes, with the Angels and Saints in heaven for me and the rest of the people in the world. I'm so grateful that I'm giving Him back the gift of writing which He bestowed on me so I could make good use of it.

It's really a wonderful feeling when you know that God is working in your life, even in a mysterious way.

I hope, whoever reads this blog, may find the inspiration to write for God and pray that the Holy Spirit may guide them in the way they use their talents.

I greet you all, GODSPEED!

"THAT IN ALL THINGS, GOD MAY BE GLORIFIED!"

Educator Turned Clerk

2007-04-10T15:48:00.000+08:00

A transition in position is not as easy as a snap of a finger, just like those cartoon characters who transforms from a school uniform to a superhero/superheroine and the like. It's not like committing mistakes while typing and by pressing the backspace or the delete button the error is gone. No. It's not l ike those.

Position transition means a long process of adjustments, of getting the knack at everything in and out of the new company or department you're in and so on, especially if you are new in the company and the position you hold is far from what you held in your previous workplace. Talk about a major turn from educator to clerk like I did. Anyone would agree if I say that being an educator is far from being a clerk, right?

Let us look at the points that makes an educator different from a clerk. An educator obviously, teaches, trains, calls the shots in the classroom, holds the records, computes and keeps the grades, approaches the parent/s concerned, disciplines the class, prepares the lessons and delivers it, a parent and a guardian to the children at the same time, the one being obeyed, the one being respected, imitated and looked up to, the one students can consider a buddy sometimes. A clerk, on the other hand, is the servant of the department or group. She takes orders from the boss, she follows what her superiors tell her to do, follows-up on documents/ files, the one being trained, the one being taught, you don't give orders unless prompted by the boss, you receive calls (and if you get lucky, you get shouted at or asked with so many questions regarding something you're not even knowledgeable of or worst be pressured on the phone to look for a file that you don't really have a copy of), you file important documents, memos and letters, you call up banks to pick up there letters or send them through mail, you keep a track record of outgoing and incoming documents, you inform (if possible everytime) people to accomplish their personnal papers which normally is done and passed annually or quarterly like, accomplishment reports, attendance sheets, annexes, the SAL, SL/VL applications, TAO, the OTA, etc., and of course, not to forget, you also make the calls for a meeting with your boss and other superiors, and one great deed which I have to keep in mind is to smile while on the phone (even if you're already talking to a stubborn employee or someone angry or too scary to speak with).

However hard these tasks may seem, I want to look at the bright side of turning into a clerk (though am not permanent yet). I don't write the tiring lessons plans anymore. I don't do the tedious work of checking examination papers anymore. I get to sit down and relax if I want to (especially if there are no memos or letters to be edited, typed or sent). I get to eat more (hehehe!). Plus, I get to learn more about the function of banks and other computer-related information. I also have access to the interent but will only be used when the boss ask me to look for something in the net, or for killing boredom, and of course, like most workplace with computers and internet access, there are restrictions in getting an access to sites. I get to email some colleagues here. I'm lucky that I became a part of this department because I they gave me (actually requested to have them for me) desk-cabinets, file-cabinets and computer unit to work on complete with a printer. But, of course, I have to be reminded who's accountable to all these office properties. There are also the missing-what-I-used-to-do kind of emotion inside me. Whether I like it or not, ther are times that I really want to go back to the academe. I get to be envious with my classmates in MAT-ELA (Master of Arts in Teaching English Language Arts) who are obviously teaching in schools whether in the tertiary level, the secondary or the primary level. I miss the classroom, the chalk board or white board, the overhead projector, the 3D or LCD projector, the textbooks, the workbooks, the tiring lesson plans, the tedious checking of test papers, the grading sheets, the record book, the dreaded deadlines of submission, the teacher's table, the books in the library, my colleagues, the school premises and most of all, the love of my life, the students: their laughs, their cheers, their tears, their fears, their anger, their madness, their craziness, their wit, their talent, their smiles, their hugs, their gifts of appreciation, their curiousity, their pain, their joy. I equally love the jobs I got into. Frankly, if God permits, I'll do both.

Dilemma

2007-04-04T15:46:00.000+08:00

"No matter what I do, all I think about is you
Even when I'm with my boo, you know I go crazy over you..." ----DILEMMA, Nelly Idleness makes me think and think and do an endless evaluation of my life in the past. It was like living in it and when it comes to the part on remember everything about you, things get too sentimental and emotional and worst, I just cry myself to sleep again, while my head starts its neverendng questions inside my head. After you left, three people came up to me. I wonder why three. One by one they sprouted like mushrooms on tree trunks. Each with a different way of telling me that they won't leave (yeah right!). One told me that he won't expect anything from me but he would often tell me that he likes me because I was simple, sweet and was not hard to love. i told him not to expect anything from me so neither I will expect anything from him. He's out in the field for training in six long months. Frankly, I'm missing him a lot. The other one came in, telling me how much he loves me since the day he saw me. He even remembered the date when we first met. He was just an acquaintance (thanks to her sister who left that day without texting him) that time. Nothing much to tell. He asked me where his sister was. Unforutnately, she's no longer around and I happen to be going down the stairs from work while he was going up to fetch her. I told him that I can only offer him friendship since I don't know him, as in, nothing about him do I know. I told him that no matter what I do, there is no feelings left in me for him other than friendship for now. Then, he went crazy. He wanted to kill himself for losing me. Geez!!! That attitude is really a major turn-off for me. Now, even if he texts me with all those mushy-stuffy quotes, i just end up saying "tnx. GB!" with no strings attached. Finally the third one, which I guess is already fed up, came up to me just recently. He was my ex-boyfriend, who insulted me by letting me see him with another girl (his real girlfriend) right infront of me while I was standing still in the middle of the second floor of a mall, somewhere near the department store. He knew I was the one standing there that time. He didn't mind me, he didn't even greet me and the worst is to walk right in front of me embracing his girl. He's walking up to me now because he knew that I loved him even if he didn't love me then. He's coming up to me now because his girl got pregnated by another guy and has decided to go with the guy who made her swallow a huge watermelon. Little did he know that that love has already been buried three long years ago and the hurt has just subsided naturally. I got shivers when he suddenly wanted to marry me before he leaves for Korea. I CAN'T DO THAT!!! Marriage hasn't gotten to my head yet. And now, what's bugging my skull? It's between my feelings for you and for the one I am waiting to come on September (unless he forgets me). Why am I too bothered by my feeling of losing when I know that I can have one again soon? Why are the wounds still fresh inside me when I lost you when, all along, when he was still around, I knew I already got over you? Why do I still cry about the time when I lost you when it has been five months and two weeks when you left me? Why? Why? Why? I don't know if I'll go on. Why am I so bothered when I'm not supposed to be bothered anymore? This dilemma has to end at all cost. I hope I can find a way to do so... soon... I hope... soon...

Something New in What I do

2007-02-07T14:31:00.000+08:00

I hope you'll like viewing them.... This is one of my outlets and I wish for all of you to know... ^-^ If you want to know how I drew them, just click the figure. By the way, join the website so you can rate my drawings and create your own, too. ENJOY!!!

Unforgettable Times in My Life - When I Turned 18 and My College Days

2007-01-12T17:22:00.000+08:00

So far, my high school life seemed more of a blessing after all and going to college would be fun again. I was looking forward to be in College and meet more people and enjoy my life as free as I can. I did live a free kind of life when I was in college. i could go to places during free times and breaks. i get to eat to different food chains near and around the school (the real reason why I chose to be in St. Scholastica's College, Manila). Of course, go out and stroll in malls with my peers. I was also glad because I was able to have my prayer meeting with my fellow YFC brothers and sisters in DLSU and get to research in their library. But, somehow, when I turned 18, things got a little awkward for me and I feel strange about it. Because I was a grantee, I don't pay a single cent for my tuition fee. I only pay for miscellaneous fees and I also have to work in school and complete 60 hrs. a semester. I also get 500 bucks as my monthly allowance from the school. When I finally reached my age of 18, I told myself that I had to be what I am, and become what I want to be ---A TEACHER. I pursued my degree majoring in English. And of all the subjects, why English? Because I know I could get anywhere having English as a major. I was your typical student then. My grades weren't that bad. I got the first 3 letters in the alpahabet for a grade. I get to know more about myself, everyday. I related to alot of independent people mostly from the MassCom block and the Interior Design class. Well, maybe because I am inclined to the arts than the sciences. ^-^ Nonetheless, I made friends more in college. It's also during these times in my life where I get to buy the things I like after saving some amount for myself from the allowance I get. I don't want and I DON'T LIKE the feeling that I'll be asking money from my Inay just for my consumption in school (unless I'm really flat broke). I spend for my lunch and snacks where I never get enough of the crepé (yummy!!!=9)either banana, mango or peaches (of course I need a variety so I won't puke afterwards and want more of it). Even the "manangs" know exactly my kind of taste. I was busy trying out different cuisines in the canteen the way i was busy thinking about my classes. It was also during this time of my life where I can say that I was really studious. I often go to the library to read the books I'm interested in. I also get to borrow the books I need for my assignment and researches. It wasn't hard looking for a book because I just I have to press some keys, type in the titles or the auihtor's name from an eCatalog and presto! I know where to look for it. My classmates and friends would often ask me if I can still move or do it. In a firm way, I assure them, that I still can. They would often see me going to the library or see me reading some hand-outs on a cofee table. But, to my blockmates, I was serious in my studies but I was still easy-go-lucky. Well, I don't want to be hard on myslef you know. At long breaks, my boyfriend (ex-boyfriend) and I see each other in the University Mall just infront of our school. I get to mingle with his friends, too. They study in DLSU. Some from the main, some from Benilde. Sometimes, we get to eat together in Green Archers (spaghetti anyone?), in Jollibee, in Wendy's, in KFC, or in McDo. We had a great time together though I was always nagging him. But, it cam to a point where I need to be tested with my own patience. .... To be continued.

Ang Una Kong Komposisyon Gamit Ang Bernakular sa Blogger Na Ito

2006-12-19T11:19:00.000+08:00

GANUN PALA Ganun pala kapag bata pa. Maraming tanong ang sumasagi sa isip mo Maraming dapat ipaliwanag sa mapaglarong kaisipan ng isang bata Pero, ang nais lamang ay maglaro kasama ang mga kaibigan mangulit kapag may gusto iiyak kapag iniwan o may masakit sisimangot kapag galit, nagtatampo o kung may ayaw. Ganun pala kapag pumapasok ka na sa eskwela. iiyak sa una dahil hindi na katabi at kasama ang nanay o tatay, ngingiti kapag may nakikilalang bagong kaibigan magsasaya kapag mataas ang markang nakuha minsan pa'y ipagyayabang ito kahit ang ilang mga bagong gamit sa'yo. Pero, yuyuko kapag napagsabihan nanginginig sa takot kapag nasigawan minsan ay may tuwa kapag may takdang-aralin, at nangungulit pa ring sumama sa kahit anong "field trip" o lakad ng kaklase o barkada Nagkakaroon ng bagong palayaw o tawag maraming asaran, maraming kasiyahan at kalungkutan. Ganun pala kapag ganap ka ng dalaga o binata. Nandoon ang asaran ngunit walang kasawaan ang kasiyahan nandoon ang mga unang karanasan: lumabas na kasama lamang ang kaibigan, umibig kahit hindi pa dapat, makipagtalo sa magulang, mapapaway sa o para sa barkada, minsan may sasabit pang sakuna, aksidente o disgrasyang walang sinuman ang may gusto Minsan ay maiisip lang ang pangsarili at hindi maiisip ang kahihinatnan ng ginagawa Magawa at matupad lamang ang gusto, sumaya lamang ang sarili. Ganun pala kapag nakapagtapos ka na. Minsan wala ng maisip Nagiging malabo ang patutunguhan Haharapin ang mundo na walang kasiguraduhan Basta, makapasok sa institusyon o establisimientong napupusuan May maipon lamang para sa kinabukasan. ===========@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@===================== Ganun pala kapag bumabyahe ka sa umaga. Kailangan ay gumising ka ng maaga para lang habulin ang walang kamatayang trapiko sa Kamaynilaan at hindi mahuli sa puputahan. Ganun pala kapag bangag ka. Kailangan mong unatin at banatin ang katawan upang kumilos ng masigla at upang mawala ang anumang bahid ng ka-bangagan. Ganun pala kapag masyadong matagal na wala ang punong-tagapamahala mo. Nasasanay ka na gawin ang anumang naisin mo sa oras na gusto mo May matatapos ka at may makakalimutan ka ring mga trabaho na sa pagbalik niya, saka ka naghahabol sa mga papeles na dapat ay nailabas o nagawa na noong wala pa siya. Ganun pala kapag nagmamadali ka. Marami kang nakakalimutan, Marami kang nakakaligtaan gawin, marami ka ring pagsisisihan kapag nahuli ka o di kaya'y iba ang naging kahihinatnan. Ganun pala kapag hindi ka nakapagbaon sa opisina o sa eskwela. Kailangan mong tignan ang perang nasa walet mo upang bilangin ang kakailanganin mo para makakain ka at magkasya sa walong oras na ilalagi mo sa opisina o sa eskwela kasama na ang pambayad sa pamasahe papunta at pauwi. Ganun pala kapag baguhan ka sa trabaho. Ang mga mata'y laging nakamasid sa halos lahat ng kinikilos mo Uutusan ka para malaman ang takbo ng isip mo pati na sa mga galaw ay makikita ang pagkatao mo. *******************=================================******************* Ganun pala kapag may hinhangaan ka. hihingin mo ang larawan nya o di kaya'y tititigan mo ito ng matagal na kapag nilapitan ka'y hindi ka naman makatingin at kapg tumingin sa'yo ay ika'y mamumula sa pagkahiya, Kapag nagpapansin sa'yo ay iyo ng aayawan Na kapag malungkot siya't umiiyak, itatahan mo siya at aaluking maging kaibigan. Ganun pala kapag umibig ka sa unang pagkakataon. Lahat gagawin mo para sa iniibig mo. Kahit minsan ay alam mong hindi mo na kaya Pero, dahil para ito sa kanya, gagawin mo pa rin na walang pagaalinlangan o pagdududa Kakantahin halos lahat ng mga kantang-pag-ibig kikiligin, ngingit ng sobrang tamis kapag nakikita siya o kapiling at katabi mo siya para bang ang mundo ay siya at ikaw na lamang. Ganun pala kapag nasaktan ka ng iyong minamahal. Magagalit ka ng husto sa kanya, Ngunit mananahimik lang Iiiyak sa isang tabi at kapag tumagal, nawawalan na ng tiwala at tastapusin na ang lahat ng namamagitan sa inyong dalawa. Ganun pala kapag nakipaghiwalay ka sa mahal mo. Maglalakas loob ka ng isumbat lahat ng maling nakita mo noon minsan ay ibabalik sa kanya lahat ng binigay niya sa'yo buburahin siya sa loob ng "phonebook" ng cellphone mo pagkatapos ay iiyak magdamag, matutulala, magiisip ng magiisip, minsan ay mababaliw ka, Mapapaisip sa gabi at biglang luluha, at minsan, sa sobrang pagdurusa ng puso mo maiisip mo ng tapusin pati ang buhay mo. Ganun pala kapag nagawa mong umibig muli Kahit sa iba na at hindi sa una. Mapapangiti kang muli mapupuno ulit ng pag-asa, gagawin muli ang mga ginawa noong una kang umibig Ngunit, may konting pagbawi sa nararamdaman mag-iingat na at matututunang mahalin ang sarili habang iniingatan ang pag-ibig ninyong dalawa. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^###################^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wala pa itong ending kasi hanggang dito pa lang ang nangyayari sa buhay ko. ewan kung kailan ko pa ito madudugtungan. Ang hirap mag-tagalog. Pero, gusto kong sumulat sa ating bernakular. GANUN PALA!

Unforgettable Times in My Life - When I Was a Teener...

2006-12-05T18:01:00.000+08:00

There were so many things that had happened in my childhood and the rest that were not written are those that are better left unsaid nor accounted for. Graduating from elementary was a big deal for me. I was thinking about how I can be without the friends I've known in elementary. A classmate of mine said that studying in that school is dangerous because there were a lot of fraternities and stuff. But, I want to get thru my studies. When I got back home, my Dad happily announced that I was one of the top ten students who passed the entrance exam in Malate Catholic School. Holding that joy in my heart, I bravely faced the interviewer the next day and in the next few weeks, I enjoyed getting and carrying my books home and read as much as I could after I covered them with plastic. When the class started in June, I told myself "this is it...there's no turning back..." and sighed to myself. I vowed that I'll make it to the top when I get to high school. I did. In my first year in high school, I bagged the 1st place for 4 consecutive quarters and the Best in Religion for the same. It was also then, I was able to join quiz bees and more contests. I had always wanted to get there, on stage, to compete, to prove to myself that I could be number one. But, I never knew, that getting exposed on stage in front of many will lead me to something else. Before I ended my 1st year, I got word from my adviser that I might be transfered to the Cream Section (the top section) by next year. I was a little sad. I will miss the fun I had with my classmates. During my first year was also the first time I joined a group of girls who went out and went to arcade shops and the mall all by themselves. I joined them because I was suppose to have a practice with them in one of our group's house for our role play the next Monday. I went with them without permission. These were the times in my life when I thought I have to change some things in my life. I was bombarded by the idea that I had to be free when I get to my 3rd year and I had to wait from now. Striving for what I wanted, I studied hard and the next school year, I got transfered to the cream section. It was during this year when I learned to tolerate cheating during exams. My classmates warmly welcomed me. I was too in a hurry to befriend them so I was talkative again and told them all about myself even my achievements, which made them a little warded-off from me. I got peers then. We were twelve in the group. I had fun having them around. Our best day was during PE because it was all about gymnastics. It was also the first time in my life to perform a cheer dance with some gymnastics for the Intramurals. I was busy. That exposure led me to be looked at and be known by many especially some one I didn't know who admires me in secret. But, little by little, I have failed my classmates. Some one hated me and throws a lot of words about me just enough for me to hear it though she wasn't talking to me. There was a time when I cried a lot because my peers went away from me one by one. The best thing they left was my nick name. One of them, Nancy Yagisawa'a the name, called me "Ibyang". A name of a storm that led to the suspension of classes. We loved giving notes to each other. But, my peers became less and less visible to me until I felt that they were all against me. So I cried, but I prayed and told myself that someday, they'll understand. I also began to befriend someone in school but she was in the other section. It wasn't long till she became my friend. She actually was surprised to know that I love anime and that I know a little Japanese writing. From that day, she became my best friend. I even consider her as my "twin" for the way we act or say things would end up being identical. We sang Japanese Anime Songs. We even made a translated version of Eto Ranger's ending song entitled "Aitakute" (I Am Missing You). Since she grgew up in Japan, she translated the words to me and I arranged it so the English translation would fit the tune of the song. From there, she also became a part of my peer Ilyne then another one named Karol joined us with three more lower-year levels. We were all so glad to have become friends. We joined drawing contests and some other stuff. This was also the year when I joined the group Youth for Christ. It was different. I attended the youth camp professed and surrendered myself to God in the camp. After this, there were a lot of changes. Some of the close people I was with told me that there was a different light in me. I just noticed that I wasn't that 'closed' to people anymore. A guy, by the name Patrick, went up to me that time and admitted that he admired me since he was 2nd year. I told him that I was 1st year then. He said he knew me when he saw me during the quiz bee. He was there, watching me win the competition. I was surprised. He admired me more when he saw me during the Intrams. I got a little embarassed since I was in my bloomers when me and the rest of the chosen 2nd year students did a cheer dance. That was something. It flattered me and I thanked God for him. Three more gifts were added to my Spirit. I was surprised to know somethings that I never knew I would know which Patrick also knows and no other person does. It was strange. I felt a little weird though but I told myself that if that's the will of God, then, I have to let Him do what He wants of me. It was also this year when a cartoon anime of "Princess Sarah" inspired me a lot as a young lady. I took it to myself that when someone would hurt me, i won't hurt them back but love them and forgive them. Strange, but I was able to do that to all those who hated me and were against me. I even stopped cheating. The next year, Gennie and I are already in third year and things didn't turn out well. Ilyne got mad at me for what I said which I can't remember. Karol became a little hooked with something so she was away. But, Gennie and I made a pact that whatever happens, we'll become the best of friends and stick by each other sides no matter what. We were open about who we are, and what we were made of and what we have become now and what we can do. Even in ideas and some opinions, we seldom fight over them but we know it's just a part of us and we're still together, till now. This was also the time when Patrick got jealous of Ryan (my first guy bestfriend) after knowing that he too had a crush on me. I told Patrick that he's just my bestfriend and that's all. But, Patrick really was too afraid to lose me. I felt like he didn't trust me. So, I became cold to him and broke up with him. He cried for me to come back but I was as cold as ice to him. Ryan and I became best of friends too. Gennie was still there for me. Ryan became an inspiration. Actually, he was the one who would always tease me a lot. I got really mad at him. He made me smile when he played the guitar and sang to me a song sang by True Faith. He really made me feel that he was sorry and that he wanted to have peace with me. That started our friendship. We had a deal to write to each other and see who has written a lot of letters. He was going to a YFC Conference in Iloilo where I wasn't able to go since I got no budget and I had to obey my parents and respect their decision. May 5, he called me on the phone and asked if I could be his bestfriend, and without further thinking i said "yes". So, he was there for me. He was what I consider my soul mate. My letters answers his letters. Everytime I wanted to call him, he would call me and vice versa. I gave him a gift and it fit that one space left on the wall of his room. He was different. Feelings began to build up in me but I disregarded it and focused on the idea that he is just my bestfriend and nothing more. When we held a youth camp, he asked me errands and i do it for him. It was also the time when he suddenly hugged me (which he never did before) and out of the blue, kissed me near my lips. Good thing my hair was long enough to cover my face and my lips. Then, he suddenly said "sorry". I just said that it was okay and that i know that it was unintentional. So, off I went to room. I was thinking, i was quiet. on the day of the youth camp, I wasn't in good shape. I got a little ache in my heart to my Dad. Other than that, I feared that my visions might come true about that day. And so the camp went on and there my visions came true. We were in trouble, I almost got possessed. The participants were seeing something else. Worst was, one participant got possessed. A lot of us household members fell. I was a prayer warrior anda spirit wanted to cut my rosary. The bad spirits were mad at us. I prayed harder and told Jesus to hold the rosary for us. We won the battle. After the camp, what we thought was over, was not. The possessed student still got possessed and some students were also getting a taste of it. Some students were sarcastic about it. Others would laugh about it and joke about it. Some were too engrossed that they would tell everyone about the incident. I had to make them stop. Gennie and I knew just what to do. That was really a big challenge for us. We all prayed that it won't happen again. during my fourth year, Patrick and Ryan were already in college. Patrick still had the nerve to go up to me and plead for me to come back, I forgave him but I never came back to him since I told myself that if i'll be the first to let go of a relationship, eventhough I love him, I won't come back. My friendship with Ryan got really stronger. We even had the same shirt color when he visited me during the Intrams on October 10, 1997. We went out not knowing where to go and caught ourselves getting inside HP and took our first duet picture. I also attended my first and last YFC Conference in Ultra. I loved the feeling of praising God. I even saw some of the people in my neighborhood. It was also in fourth year where I learned strength and discipline thru the Citizen's Army Training (CAT). After this, the retreat day. Before the retreat, my classmates were already planning who they want to be with in a room. Whoever i chose was already chosen or laready had someone else in mind. I was thankful that Aileen was still looking for one so I asked if it was okay that I'll be her roommate. She thought for awhile, asked her friend about it and agreed afterwards. I was too shy to ask since I know that most of them don't like me. I cried to God about it. During the retreat, everything was fine. Then, I missed Ryan. I felt that I lost something. Whenever I was quiet, I cried. It was the time when I told them about who I am. Everyone seem to think that i was pretending to be someone else. Maybe, at the least. But, that was only beside the fact that I was hiding my true colors for some reasons that I know they won't understand. After the retreat, it was the time they appreciated me more than before. They were able to loosen up themselves a bit to get near me. But most were still hesitant. This was also the time when Ryan and I opened up about how we felt for each other. It was the sweetest feeling I ever had. I wished that it won't end. I feel so peaceful and happy when I am with him. It was a different feeling. Ryan was my first love. I was his, too. But, he never courted me. I was not expecting him to anyways. It was enough fir me to know that he feels the same about me. This was the year when Grace lost her father. We all mourned with her and we fought back to the administrators of the school who threatened us that we might not graduate if we insist on going to the burial. We had a deliberation with Sister Raquel and aired our side to her, but it went to waste. We went to the funeral but not during the burial. After a week of rebelling hearts, during a class in CL, our teacher left us because our assignment was to reflect on something. We know she, too, was mad at our section. We fought as one. So the whole class decided to reflect with a touch of religious music and do our reflections the way we feel it. Little by little, you can hear something sniffing and weeping. Then, I, who seemed not too affected, began comforting some of them. To my surprise, i got affected, too, and started to cry. I began to think about how miserable I feel whenever I know that someone hates me. Then, the officers of the class decided to have an open forum. There, they aired their problems. Unluckily, I got in the hot seat first. So they told me why they hate me. Some said they thought I was the one telling teachers the reason why their noisy. Some said they just felt the same because their friend hated me so they hated me as well. Some think I was a loner and unapproachable. Some thought that I might get mad on something. Some thought I cannot be teased or anything and that I was too sensitive, and so on and so on. One friend, Avy, asked me how on earth was I able to stand when I know that everyone hates me. She said I was strong. I told her that I remembered what Ryan told me, "Let go and let God". She was surprised to know that because she said if she was in my shoe, she would've not stayed in that room and had herself transfered. They asked if I was mad at them. I told them that I don't have the right to get mad because that was how they felt for me and I couldn't do anything about it. From there, I cried and they hugged me and apologized. After me, everyone had a taste of being in the hot seat. That experience made us even closer to each other. Some may have stayed aloof to me but, for me, they are friends. I got other friends from the other building, the BHS. Stone was one. The closest one I had, who eventually also had a crush on me but never pursued his feelings and treated me as a sister. From Stone, I befriended, Allan, Mac, Erick, and Derick. I was happy. Our friendship started when we held a youth camp in Antipolo. I was full of life. I smiled a lot. Gennie and I talked about many stuff after the camp. Soon, graduation came. Exchanging pistures was really rampant when we got our pocket sized pictures. Nothing was left for me. But that's okay. At least my ID's are still alive. I graduated in CAT as the Best Private Cadette and the Best in Tickler Memorization. In our Commencement Exercises, after all the ceremonies and awards, where i got a medal for being the Best Officer of YAC and Marian Circle, 2nd place in a Poetry Writing Contest and Best Member of the Forensics and MArian Circle (which all came as a surprise) I hugged everyone I befriended. Among the guys, I hugged Stone. Among the girls, I hugged those I was with during the CAT, my peers, and hugged Gennie tightly. I went off my way, out of the corners of MCS with a smile and with a heart of gratitude and thought about coming back some day to serve my Alma Mater.

Unforgettable Times in My Life - My Childhood

2006-12-05T10:14:00.000+08:00

Wondering how far I could go in this lifetime is straining. Long hours of staring at one direction putting your mind set in oblivion can drive you crazy with all those daydreams, fantasies, and ambitions running around your head. Well, these are just the things that money can't buy, though having enough earnings for living is a problem nowadays. Then, it came to a point where my mind took a different direction. It went to somewhere that were just hidden in the depths of my memory. Something, unforgettable. As they say, what makes humans go sentimental is because "memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does." Along the line of the time when I was born, I was always in the hospital for check-up on asthma. I wasn't that healthy when I was a baby. I was fat though with my baby hair standing (a sign of hardheaded-ness according to my Inay). I smile a lot when I was a baby. I easily smile but my mood changes in a moment, then I cry. They said I loved milk. I often get to finish a baby bottle of milk than my elder brother Kenneth. They said I would even get his because he often does not finish his milk. I loved to be cradled in a swing, duyan as they call it here. They often let me sleep but I was active and energetic when awake. During my toddler years, I would utter "ma" for Inay and "da" for Daddy. I walk around. Strange isn't it? i call my mom, "Inay" and my dad, "Daddy". I loved to do feet wrestling with my elder brother who was then 2years old. I still drink my water or milk in a baby bottle but I would often practice drinking in a drinking glass. I hugged my dolls, did baby talks to them as if they were alive and I also played with my brother's toys. I actually put to my mouth what I grabbed in my small hands. I almost got those poison balls in my mouth when, luckily, my brother took it away from me and called to my Auntie "Ivy is eating poison." Auntie, helped my brother take it away from me while I held it tight and cried when they got it. Auntie, spank my little hands and told me to listen to kuya. Auntie, spoke to us in English when we were little because she got used to it speaking to her employers before since they were Spanish and some were German. So, I grew up with it. We moved in to where we live now when I was 2 years old. I loved it when they ask me to pose for a picture but I often get tantrums. I was naughty when I was little. I would race the other end of my skirt when I pose. I would crawl on my Inay's bed and thumbsuck with my bro. We do pillow fights and feet wrestling. All this naughtiness and fun went on till we both went to school. I went to school when I was 4 as a nursery grader. I started to color and write and speak straight in English when I was 3. When i got to school, I learned greetings, I learned how to write legibly and straight though it was really hard since I often almost tore the pages of my notebook because I wrote roughly and hardly on them. I learned to trace any drawing on a book. I learned how to recite the alpahabet, the numbers, the days of the week and the months of the year in an American accent mentored by the late Mommy Cura of South Merville School. When I got back home, I would act like a teacher, though the truth was I wanted to be a doctor. I let my folks and relatives arrange their chairs and let them sit properly while I got my small blackboard and chalk then I start my lessons. I let them pronounce words the way my teachers let us pronounce words. I got irritated when they were noisy and when they mispronounce some words. Then I end my lesson after a little quiz on a pad paper. I checked them and marked them. Other than those, I even boasted that I was better than them. When I actually started in school, I don't know what "anong pangalan mo?" means. I had to ask my Auntie for translations. But there was something strange about me. When I was 4 to 5 years old, I began to put my right leg on top of my other leg and twist them together. I don't know why it felt good. But I often got a spank on my leg when I do that. It only happens when I see two people on tv kissing. During these years in my life, I was prone to colds, coughs and fever and worst get my asthma attacks. In school, I was a different Ivy. They said I was smart, assertive, playful, but not friendly though my name means "friendly". I wasn't since I was not tactful enough with the words I use in school. As long as I have something to say and for as long as I want to say it to someone, I would, even if it would hurt. They hated me for that. When I was in Kindergarten, I was absent for 2 longs weeks because of my asthma. When I got back to school, with a little review of the things I have not learned, it was already our activity test, and for some good reasons I can't comprehend, I only got 2 mistakes. I ranked 2nd in that grade. It was the time my teacher said that she had to accelerate me to Grade 1. Inay didn't listen and didn't accept the offer so I got in to Prep. I was branded talkative when I was in Prep. It was the time when my teacher placed a masking tape on my mouth because she wanted us to go to sleep but when I nodded my head I would still talk, but because I was stubborn, I removed it. She even asked my classmate, who was her favorite, to put more on my mouth. At dismissal, I got a lot of scolding and whipping from my Auntie and Daddy at home. I learned, so I didn't talk too much in school. I was boastful of anything new in my stuff from pencils to shoes. I accidentally kicked the eye of my classmate, unfortunately, I kicked the one she loves most, so again, I went home with a lot of scolding and whipping. I vowed to myself to never get near that girl again. But I didn't like the thought that she would think I'm an enemy, so I said sorry, shaked her hand and offered her a big smile. That girl and I were a tandem in the honor's list. She always ranked 1st and I 2nd. We were often picked as declaimers for the Declamation Day. But I didn't last in that rank until Grade 4. I went down. I was intimidated by many of my classmates. That was also the time when someone named Bryan, a classmate of my elder bro, courted me. I didn't like him. I do have crushes but I don't want to dwell in any of those non-sense before. I answered him for the sake of letting him stop and I really hurt him a lot of times. Before we broke up, I tore my picture, which he shot during the Scouting Camp Day. It was a stolen shot of me. One of my cruhes, Stephen, became a close friend of mine when I became a Student Council Officer, an Assistant Secretary. He was nice to me. He had a girlfriend that time but months later, they broke up. He was sweet to me. He almost courted me, but I was too innocent about those things. During my grade 4 years, I had a deal with a guy named Ryan, a repeater of Grade 5 because he was unruly, rude, lazy and all. Our deal goes (I forgot what it was all about), if he wins, he'll kiss me and if I win, I will spank him hard on the face. Unluckily, I lost, so he did kiss me, but he tricked me...He kissed me on my lips but a strange thing happened. When he did that, my soul went outside my body. My body was nothing. It was a statue. He was kissing a statue. When I went back to my body, I asked if that was a kiss. He wanted to kiss me back because he said I didn't feel it. I protested and lied, but he was right, I didn't feel it. He almost raped me inside a comfort room to get even with me because I really embarassed him infront of my busmates. He was inside the girls' comfort room, and when I opened it because I was about to pee, he pulled me in and locked the door. I fought with all the strength I had. My fear turned to anger and I pushed him hard that made him fell near the toilet bowl so I managed to get out and told my calssmates about it. The principal knew the incident from another person. He was kicked out. That was the time I turned really strong. It was also in Grade 4 when my cousin, Romy, passed away because of stab wounds. I hated the man who killed him and vowed to remember his name, so if ever he'll cross my path, God forgive me, but I will really kill him! I was strong. All the bad words I knew went out of my mouth from that day. I turned into a serious person. I never withdrew from a fight or a challenge. That's when I learned to take on challenges. In Grade 5, I still play Chinese garter, the ten-twenty, the Jackstone, and all other things girls play. Stephen would call me by my surname and I would do the same. We would have gotten too intimate with each other that time, but I did not allow it because it was wrong. During this year, a guy named Conrad, bumped on to me hitting my cheekbone, I got mad at him, but I just cried. I saw him when we got this little store when i was in high school and just laughed about what happened then. I was sent out by my teacher for being listed as one of the noisy pupils in class, but I still managed to laugh at what happened to us. In Grade 6, I bagged some achievements like holding the flag during the scouting camp, conducted the Philippine National Anthem during graduation, awarded as Artist of the Year (whose certificate I wasn't able to retrieve until this day), had my last threatrical acting stint for the guild and Declamation Day, and ranked 3rd Honorable Mention (or Rank 5). The funniest memory during my life in Grade 6 was when boy named Virgil, challenged me to a duel. I told him not to especially if I have my shorts on under my skirt. But he insisted. I even joked that if he wants to have a "square" with me, he had to go back inside the campus get a chalk and draw a square on the ground. That made hime mad so he started punching me but his fists never touched my face. When it was my turn, I kicked him and hit his balls. He's voice went small because of the pain but managed to punch me hard on the face (or was it a punch?). I wasn't even hurt but my classmate got worried. I only got a red mark on my cheeks and rubbed it off. No pain at all. This was the year when I almost got suspended because of a stupid security guard of the school. This was also the year when I started asking my late Grandma why I was seeing things which no one can see and dream dreams that were so clear and true to me.

Love Songs

2006-11-30T09:21:00.000+08:00

Here are my favorite love songs. I have posted one already entitled "Need 2b Next 2U" by Sixpence None-the-Richer. Now I will be posting more. These goes to all who are falling in love, still in love and wants to fall in love with someone, just like me. I heard them over the radio last night. They brought me to oblivion again. They made me smile and remember the people who have come and gone in my life, and still hoping to see them for one last time. I'm stepping on ahead, moving on, and still in a process. The love I gave them (or they gave me) is the most precious memory I will always cherish. I never regret being with you. I never did. i loved and cherished every moment for I can never move the waves backwards. If ever some lyrics aren't correct, tell me and keep me posted. I'd be glad to hear them. =D Here goes... FALLING (I don't know who sang this... but it's soooo cool!!!) i wanna tell u baby that ur the 1 i'm thinking of but ur heart is still with her and i know that she's the 1 that you want i only want u happy even if its not with me maybe one day u'll open up ur eyes and u'll see CHORUS: (Yeah) (I think/ But still) i'm falling baby i'm falling 4 u yeah, i think i'm falling baby i'm falling 4 u from the 1st time that u lay ur lips on mine its as if the smile on my face will last until the end of time but i'm not so sure if ur the 1 that i should pursue my mind tells me "no" but my heart always says that its you (CHORUS) BRIDGE: only time can tell when the mystery is yet to unfold who's gonna feel the warmth and the other left in the cold (CHORUS 2x) =================================================================== SAY GOODBYE (Madonna) take a bow and night is over this masquerading is getting over lights are low the curtains down there's no one here lights are low but can i stay u deserve an award 4 the role that u played no more masquerade ur one lonely star (only star, i don't know who u are) CHORUS: i've always been in love with u i guess u've always known its true u took my love 4 granted why, oh why the show is over say goodbye Say Goodbye, Say Goodbye Like the crowd that could not stay when u came to the part where ur breaking my heart right behind ur smile all the world loves the change wish ur words would come so easy do u mean what u say when there's no one around watching u, watching me one lonely star (only star, u don't know who u are) (CHORUS) BRIDGE: All the world loves a change when everyone has been mine but how was i to know which where'd the story go how was i to know u'd break (u'd break, u'd break) u'd break my heart (CHORUS 2x) CODA: Say goodbye...say good bye say good-bye... =================================================================== IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU (Tine Arena) so good when its good i wanna spend my whole life loving u but i'm tired and u don't know how close i've come to be with u REFRAIN: u tried my patience and u raised me thru the wire and it takes every ounce of my will and desire CHORUS: if i didn't love u if i didn't love u like crazy if i didn't love u, baby as much as i do i'll just walk out that door i won't take it anymore i won't put up with what ur going thru if i didn't love u it's hard but u won't give up until u push me to the wall but i know ur the only who'd be here for me when i call i wish u were REFERAIN 2: i can't help believe it that it's worth it somehow coz i've worked to damn hard to wanna give up now (CHORUS) no, i... if i didn't, if i didn't love u like i do... BRIDGE: when u love someone nothing's black or white when ur wheel does turn there's no wrong or right i'm safe with u but i refuse to trance don't u take me down, down take me down, down don't u take me down, down, down if i didn't l ove u...(2x) I'd walk out that door i don't need it anymore need to put up with what ur going thru if i didn't love u... no, i if i didn't, if i didn't love u like i do... (fade) =================================================================== Well, that's all for now guys! I hope I've inspired u a bit. If u want me to post some more, just email me or send me a message thru celest_isis@yahoo.com.ph or ivyescalona_7@lycos.com . i'm going to try to post more if i'm able to think of more. ciao! till next time!

Another Composition

2006-11-29T10:18:00.000+08:00

HEAR ME, O LORD

I wandered off to places

Just to seek Your face

I traveled far and wide

Just to know You are there

REFERAIN: But, I need to be there with you

In Your arms, Oh...I need You

I can't be alright without You by my side

CHORUS: So Hear Me, O Lord I pray

That You carry me today

To the path where Your light shines forever

Teach my heart and my soul dear Lord

That I may not fall astray again

I'm lost in this world and I shout Your Name

So Hear me, hear me, O Lord

I'm running to fast on the road

Trying to be on my own

I can't tunr back now

Just to be with You

(REFRAIN)

(CHORUS)

BRIDGE: Seeking You Lord, holding my heart

That I'm near You that Your here with me

Listening, as I plead, for You to hear me...

(CHORUS 2x to fade)

Need 2b Next 2U

2006-11-27T10:55:00.000+08:00

This song has been popularized by Sixpence None the Richer who also sang KISS Me (in many different languages...but I love the Japanese version) and revived Don't Dream It's Over (which was a new wave hit in the 80's).

This song is one of the reasons why I can still smile despite the ache I have in my heart...an ache that can only be healed by the one who broke it.

By the way, if the picture isn't clear to you, it's an animewallpaper of Kenshin and his first wife Tomoe. Written above the pic goes "Don't you know that every sword needs a sheath?" True. Even a bastard needs someone to cover him, or someone hated still needs to be loved, or someone grieving needs comforting. Everybody needs someone. NO MAN IS AN ISLAND!

I'm running from this feelings for so long

Telling my heart I didn't need you

Pretending I was better off alone

But I know that it's just a lie

REFERAIN: So afraid of days with tears again

So afraid what I feel inside

CHORUS: (But/Coz') i need to be next to you (need to be next to you)

ooh... ooh...

I need to share every breath with you (share every breath with you)

ooh... ooh...

I need to know I can see you smile each morning

Look into your eyes each night

For the rest of my life

here with you, near with you, oh I...

I need to be next to you

Need to be...next to you

Right here with you is right where I belong

I lose my mind if I can't see you

Without you there is nothing in this life

that would make life worth living for

REFERAIN2: I couldn't give a thought of you not there

I can't fight what I feel anymore (CHORUS)

BRIDGE: I need you right where you're

Next to mine, for all the time

I need you all my life

I need to be next to you...

(CHORUS from 2nd line)

ADLIB: Need to be, need to be next to you

Share every breath with you (ooh... ooh...)

I need to know I can see you smile each mornin'

Look into your eyes each night

For the rest of my life

here with you, near with you, oh I...

I need to be next to you....

(to fade)

If my lyrics isn't right, please help me correct the errors. Thanks!

An Hour With MOA

2006-11-05T19:50:00.003+08:00

In 10 minutes, I arrived at the shores of your wideness overwhelmed with joy when I landed on you for more spirit to live, for more views to seek, for more airs to breathe. About 10 more minutes, I stood at a fine view of a Lightball in the middle of your vast-ness, your wave spreads forth like hands about to grab the ball of Night-ness, as it lights the palms of your shores from afar the night sky, as you breathe with everyone sitting on you, walking on you, playing with you, laughing with you, loving with you, standing on you, running around on you, listening with your silence, in your stillness. Within the corners of another 20 minutes, I entered one of your doors, leading me, thru where my conscience wants me to as you welcomed me in, I mesmerized at your Wisdom, stored in your shelves, aligned in same-and-different rows of Knowledge and some other sorts of supplies. There's more to it, but time must meet its end. And out i went for 10 minutes walk around you then from you, I took a shot of the fullness of the Ball of Brightness with strings of electric-light beside it, and I walked far for another 10 minutes, and then looked far, for one last time telling myself, that when your waves die and your shores dry my memory of you will come alive.

2006-11-03T12:59:00.000+08:00

Read from this site: http://ivycelestineisis.blogs.friendster.com/celestine_isis/

My Memory Journal -- Final Entries

2006-10-25T14:40:00.000+08:00

AT PRESENT That was how it was 6 years ago. In those 6 long years, Rein and I went out for sometime. The last thing i know is that he moved to another place. It's somewhere near Parañaque. But, i have no idea where the exact place is. Since then, I lived in a condo in Makati. No visits from him. No phone calls. No letters sent. No communication at all. Then, I got lucky! I was lucky, I thought, because I was able to get here in Los Angeles. I'm still in L.A. studying another degree. I'm in my 4th year now. But, somehow, somewhere at the back of my head, the thought of Rein never ceased. I would even dream of him. Crazy, isn't it? I get those sexual dreams with him. In reality, I never thought of him. Maybe because I was busy with my reports and my studies, plus the fact that I've been here for 4 long years and all i missed was my room back in the condo in Makati. With me here is a photo that i personally framed. It's a photo of me and my bestfriend, Minami (she's Japanese, you know...) and another is a solo photo of me in my best and newest outfit---the light brown bolero-topped-spaghetti strapped-baby pink fitted shirt with my pleated rust-pink laced skirt . I bought a heart-shaped frame for no good reason at a shop nearby. It has the same intricate classic designs of flowers as that of the ones i saw from Rein's unit before. But, it's empty. The frame is in bronze, bringing a sepia brightness to it's emptiness telling me of something that has long been gone. "Long gone, but am still dreaming of him every now and then", ay! I'm done with my papers though. Now, what can i have for dinner? I searched my personal refrigerator just right beside me while i type my last entries... uhmmm....ah...yougurt! Maybe not. I'd rather take 2 slices of marble jelly cake before eating my yougurt. Wait! i saw a pasta mini-shop that had just stopped right...there... MEMORIES IN A JOURNEY Yum! i just had my pasta. Pasta, Rein's cooking expertise has something to do with pasta. My eating expertise goes to pasta. That's something. Yum, yum, yum! I wished that pasta mini-shop will stay right there till next week. But, you know, people here work almost non-stop, especially in NY. So some had to travel far and wide to earn a living. I'm already having a bit of my cake now. It's nice to be typing, while eating, while thinking, while eating again. I have reduced for I-don't-know-how-many-pounds now. I'm a bit slim than before i got here. The city's a bit colder these days since it's near Christmas. Ah...back to my sheets. The blankets, the bed sheets, my pillows, their softness, all reminds me of my room back home. Back home near with Rein before, where we heated our cold body's from a cold rainy day. Look, wake up dear! You're in L.A. he's in your hometown, what are you thinking? Ah...i just can't stop the daydreaming, the thinking. No. i can't stop yearning. No, I'm just reminiscing. Nope. I'm longing for it...I am. But, how is he anyway? But, my thinking will stop, i know. It will. I'll be back home after my graduation. Well, 2 years after my graduation. So long for this. My thoughts are still on a journey and i'm concentrating with my yougurt and... Wait! I'll buy some more pasta!!! Waaaaaiiiiiit!!!!.... dedicated to Rafael Lorenzo Fenix y Malixi

My Memory Journal...2

2006-10-22T20:59:00.000+08:00

A MONTH AGO Little wormy thoughts crawled down my tummy. God! it's a month already, i thought. i feel bloated. i feel drowsy. no. not drowsy. no. i'm dizzy, i feel like vomiting but i can't. no! No!!! i am not. I...am...not... My peeing got a little painful. i must say, my pelvic bones needed repairs, too, i thought. Ah...My UTI again. It's killing me. I'm scared to get a check up you know. What'll i do if i find out that...ah. Then, i texted Rein. I asked him what if one day he'll know that he's going to be a father, what will he do, then. I asked him this morning and look at that if your getting lucky. See! He had no replied till now. It's six in the evening. I've been bumping into women who has eaten a basket of apples. Their tummies are really bulging. It looks as if it's gonna explode. I'm gettting scared. I was looking at baby stuff. I missed the way Rein held me and told me that he'll buy blue shirts for our baby girl. Hello! Blue stuff for our baby girl. What was i thinking? He has not proposed yet. Not even once. Ay! I went home like a zombie. I uttered nothing when mom and I got back home. I sat back. I lied in bed. Am i? no! I texted my bestfriend. I asked her what she did to know if she's going to be a mom soon. The answer: TESTER. ah! I'm not gonna use that. no, no, no, no! My negative expressions did buy me anything. i bought it anyway. i was shaking to death. i can't breathe. I was sweating really cold from head to toes. i can't move an inch. I can't even blink an eye. I'm waiting for that small strip of red to come up. When one red strip did, i was waiting for another one. But i'd faint if it did. I thought the tester was broken. I thought it was fake. I waited longer. No second red strip had gone up. It means...I'm safe. Thank God! Thank God! That really scared the hell out of me. Now, i can walk lightly. My face brightened up a little. I washed my face and thought. I'm not what I think I was. I'm safe! Whew! Thank God I am safe! Rein's safe, too. He's reaction of not replying made it clear to me that i have nothing to worry about that sweet, hot night between us.

My Memory Journal...(unfinished...)

2006-10-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

JUST MY KIND OF DAY It was a cloudy, Saturday afternoon in Manila. I needed a hot café mocha while waiting at Starbucks for Rein. Shit! What’s taking his fat ass long to get here. I mumbled that in my head. Though the words were almost scattered in my brain, I paused for a moment and got my little inspirational gadget and read something to inspire me and enlighten the hell out of me. I missed a lot. Damn I did miss a lot these days! I’ve been busy in the office for five straight days, rest myself to sleep for 30 minutes then back at my feet to work. I was workaholic already. Sometimes, I would forget to eat my snacks. Well, this is a good way of dieting I guess, making my tummy grumble and digest air all the time…burp…. Ahh…what a relief. I didn’t notice he was right in front of me. Had I not sipped on my hot café mocha I wouldn’t know. “So where we’ll go from here?” He’d asked. I was thinking, “Where do you think?.” Before I even uttered those words, I started telling him some stories about writers, my mermaid professor, my life when I was in college and what I am right now. He remembered his days, too before the time he stopped going to school, which I’m glad he’s back to school again. Sipping once, twice, putting my inspirational gadget back in where it belongs (Thank God for this book! Mwah!) then tapped him to go to a bookstore. MEMORIES I NEVER THOUGHT OF UNTIL THIS DAY Inside a moving vehicle, Rein and I were the only passengers. Funny, but a part of my mind flashed pictures of him when we first met. It wasn’t a date though. It all started when a friend of mine introduced him to me one rainy afternoon. I’m no longer a student that time. I kept a distance from him that I never thought will cease as time passed us by. I even thought he was a part of a ministry I was in so I’m glad to meet him. I had mistaken him as a priest. His type of persona was calmness. By the first look on his face, you could say that maybe he’s a seminarian. But, whoa! By the time you get to know him a little bit more and be in his company, GREAT! He is not the type that is likely to be going to priesthood…then, I closed the book I was reading. I was tempted to look for books that gives regard to things that people think is freaky. But, its normal to get a little freaky sometimes, get crazy and cranky sometimes, get colds from a high-temperatured aircondition unit, get dissolved with the rain. Ah, as your name implies dear, you’re always in the rain. We met under a rainy day. We went out together under the rain. And now I guess it’s going to rain again. I bet on it. Rainy afternoons. One rainy, Saturday afternoon. A very similar timeline, in a similar atmosphere, in a different date and year. Looks like its going to rain again. That’s what I was thinking while Rein and I were in the cab. We’re heading home. Ay, thank God we’re heading…home? Hey, I live in the other street. Ah…that’s okay. He’s the one calling the shots so I might as well just sit back and let him take care of things. That’s what I thought he’ll do. We went out from the cab, holding a plastic bag with rice and viand for our lunch then bought cans of soda which I was holding as we headed to his unit. Nice! There was a grin smile on my mind. We went in and there. I saw the frames. Something’s odd though. One frame, whose style and shape is similar to that of the other was on a separate wall. The intricate designs on of the frame where from the classic (I guess…) somewhat romantic in style. The clock was included in the other group. Ah…I know…the law of equilibrium. Why am I picking on things? I am not from here, I’m from the other side of the street. But I like it here. A small unit, and it’s cozy though it needs a lot of cleaning. Kill the dust! Store what can be stored. Throw the trash! Where is the trash? Then, we ate, laughed, tell more stories, played more RPGs, watched the DVD and before we know it, it’s already seven in the evening and I’m still here. We didn’t take notice of the time because we enjoyed each other’s company and hey, the sky’s red, a lightning was on this side and there. I told you it’ll rain again, as his name implies… Hay! Then I’ll be staying here till heaven’s tears die down. My cell phone rang like running horses, so I jumped up the sofa and answered. Ah… Mom again. Mom called and asked where I am. I told her I was with Rein and am stuck in his place. She said I can stay there till the rains die down. They’ll fetch me in the morning. They won’t be home tonight since the rain and an angry gust of wind heavily shove the streets. So, they’ll be back by tomorrow. I gave her kisses and some for Dad and went on to watch the movie beside Rein, who was just sitting on the couch taking a big munch of nachos while his eyes are glued on the screen. HE GOT ME The atmosphere was different. The place became light to the feeling. I sat back with Rein on the couch, grabbed my own dose of nachos as I concentrated on what was already being watched. I was staring at the t.v. screen watching Spawn. I got up for a drink. When I came back, Rein was offering his hand to me. So I handed my hand to him and what the… he pulled me near him then he said, “Sit here infront of me.” So I did. I don’t know what an electronic fool I am that I immediately obeyed my Master Remote Control. At least, his big and fluffy. Squishy! Then my mind went to oblivion. “Gotcha!!!” was the word I heard from Rein after tickling me for 2 minutes then he stared at me. Uhm…is there a dirt in my eye? “What?”, I grinned. “Your so nice…” “Huh?” Then his right hand moved around my waist and then my head move into oblivion again. What’s this? It’s hot and it’s burning inside my body. Who’s the heater? I can’t break loose… I like this feeling…stop… then in a moments time, I saw him smiling. His eyes was radiating from an unknown light – a happy light – that I’ve never seen before. “Rein…what’s the kiss for?” “Coz’ your wonderful…” Then he did it again. This time his hands were moving on my body. I was not looking. Closing my eyes would allow me to make this feeling last in my memory. As my eyes were shut, I could only feel every warmth he was giving me. He continued. I lied on the couch with no strength of pulling him off me. The rain went on pouring like pails of tiny ice stones on the roof. Rein didn’t seem to mind the ice stones. His mind rested on me. Right there, at eight in the evening, he got me! Yup, he just got me. I was cornered by his strong, warm arms, embraced by the pillows of heaven, I reached paradise in his arms, in his body, in his soul. It was something I don’t want to lose. And for the first time, I had something I don’t want to let go of, ever. But, what about Rein? What about his life? How is he going to take this? Confusion started to build in my head. I was with Silence. Silence placed me in the darkness of confusion, of doubt. NO! Rein is a gentleman. A true friend and a caring son and brother. NO! Rein is just having fun. He just wanted to enjoy life. NO! This is real. He got me. I’m his property now… ah… believe me, this is the mark of a virgin who has just tasted the beauty of heaven in the arms of a man she loves but who, I guess, just wanted to have fun. (Heavy sigh….) Or does he? Take note, the man I love. What kind of words did you put in my mouth? Whatever has gone in to me, I had no regrets. Rein’s eyes were wonderful. His face became lighter. I made someone happy. That made me happy, too. “I guess my shoulders were really made for your head. See how your head fits on my shoulders. No one ever fits in there but you…” “Really? I guess I just love to be cuddled all the time.” Then I pressed my nose to his fluffy shoulders (he’s fat, remember?)… “No one has ever cared for me like you do.” I was speechless. ME? How? When I’m not often with you? He felt that I cared. Yes! I do care for you… a lot! Then down there, beneath his wings, I went into slumber. I don’t care what time it is. I know it stopped right here…right here with Rein… BACK TO WHAT SEEMED A NORMAL DAY It was past seven in the morning when we woke up. To my surprise, Rein was looking at me. Smiling. Caressing my face with the back of his hand then kissed me on my forehead. He got up and got me some cereals and milk. Nice! I headed home after a breakfast with Rein. The door’s still closed. Good thing I got my own key. I went in, took a shower and hurried off to work. I called Mom to let her know I’m already on my way to the office. I’m in the office now. I’m back with papers to read, edit, proofread, label, to be received, to be listed, name it, it’s all right here. I’m back with my new computer unit which I made personalized for the sake of the office I’m in. I’m back with two big blue and white logbooks for the papers we let go and the papers we receive. I’m back in my mono-block, beige chair, my wooden table with four drawers. I’m glad I’m back in the jungle where I belong. Unusual though, I’m back here but my head is somewhere out this jungle. I’m back in this wilderness but my mind’s visions were out somewhere in the woods, wandering…Wandering to look for something different, something I have lost, something I want, something I can’t get enough of, something I was waiting to happen, again, to me, under that cold, rainy afternoon, something that would zap me into oblivion again so I could forget the whole world even for a moment, or a lifetime would be better. My mind is filled with these things. All of those that had happened in that rainy, Saturday afternoon at Rein’s are in my head. I’m typing, sipping tea after every paragraph I finish. I need to be busy. Idleness makes me remember all of it. I’m not like this before. I never had something that I really wanted and looked for in my whole damn freaking life. I’m not… this. My work, the day, the office, the people around me, they are all the same. I look the same to them, but they don’t know what’s inside me. There’s something inside this body that wants to explode if I didn’t get what I longed for. Ahh… I want you again…. No… I need you, again….it’s cold in here… I need to nestle inside your arms… I need to be enveloped in the wideness of your wings… under this cold and angry rain…I need this…again…for me…just one more time…please, take me home! AITAKUTETA! Sipping thru my tea again, I got a bunch of papers to re-type and edit. Oh, well, what do you know this is just like making examination questionnaires for students. I personally don’t like the idea that some teachers asked their nieces, nephews, sons or daughters to check them. I’d do that myself. As I was saying, there’s this window near the wooden walls, that’s open. All other windows are not except for this one. Which reminds me, I looked at the window where it stares at a condo right in front of it. I saw you in the other unit. Oops! I whispered to myself. Wrong. It’s not him. So my so-called sixth sense doesn’t notice what’s real and not in this world. I neither recognize both. But the thing is, I saw you or again, maybe not. I walked on an aisle. I was walking with somebody. Hey! Oops! Not again. It’s just an officemate of mine who had just gone out next to me. I know it was you, but again, maybe not. How the hell am I going to think straight? I turn to the right, I see reflections of you. I turn to the other side, I see you again. Behind me, beside me, around me, damn it, you’re there. My memory of you keeps you visible to me, everyday. Don’t know if you’re haunting me. Don’t know if you’re thinking of me this way, too. I know I’m sure of one thing – I am missing you too much already! Too much that I see you everywhere I turn, or look, or walk to. Everywhere, becomes you. Rein, how the hell did you get here? Ay! Damn! You’re not there, but you’re killing me! Get your ass out here, please! I’m drowning with faces of you around my world! I’m sinking, drowning… How long will I keep up with you this way? THE PLEAD Finally, I’m back at home. My folks aren’t around yet. It’s a good thing I didn’t go crazy in the office. How can you move around normally if you feel like he’s everywhere haunting you wherever you go and whatever you look onto? My favorite place’s the kitchen. I got myself some hot coffee, grabbed a book in my hand, and sipped through my coffee again. Ring…. The doorbell. Maybe my folks are there. I excitedly got up from the sofa and looked at the door-hole. Great! It’s Rein. I gave him my casual “Hi” and let him sit on the other end of the sofa. “Need a drink?” “No, thanks,” was his plain reply. “So, what made you come here?” I started. “Just wanna know if you’re okay.” “I am. Why ask?” “I’m worried.” “’Bout what?”, with a grin on my face and a slight chuckle down my throat. “’Bout you. I mean last night…” “Last night, you just went out of control, fascinated by the movie we’re watching and the thought of being alone…” “….I love you!” “Come again, sir?” “You heard me. Last night was different. It was real. Just one thing, though… Maira, please, don’t leave me.” I was dumbfounded. …don’t leave me…. The phrase went around my head like an unstoppable roller coaster. What is he up to now? Then again, the kiss. It was different from last night. It wasn’t wild. It was passionate, dragging me into his world. My feet were numb and weak. But I was still standing. “Ah…Rein…Are you sure… you’re okay?” I said in between kisses. “Yeah! I’m happy I have you. Hope you’ll stay by my side no matter what…hmmm…” I’ll stay as long as you like. My head was the one answering. My heart was silent, and thinking. “I think you better go. My folks will be back at six o’ clock.” “Okay. Thanks for hearing me out. By the way, you were great last night.” He said with a smile. I just smiled back, waved at him as he closed the door. Whew! That was safe. I made an alibi so it won’t happen again. But, I know I still wanted it to happen. I sat back and sipped all of my coffee, grabbed the book I was reading and sat back on the sofa. My parents got home at seven o’ clock in the evening. Dinner was ready. We ate, talked, exchanged work-stories as if nothing was with me or with Rein. It was nothing. But it hurt me to think it was nothing.

the 1st Speech I've ever written...

2006-10-21T21:39:00.000+08:00

DREAMS: WHAT ARE THEY FOR? There’s a young lady who dreamt of herself standing in the middle of the City that Never Sleeps. It was all blurry but people were screaming then a flood came. She thought it was just a dream. Then, a year after the same dream appeared. This time it was clearer. There were two buildings facing each other. They were the tallest buildings in that city where almost everyone worked. Then a tidal wave came and swallowed the two buildings. She heard screams, wailings and all were running for their lives. She saw this dream thrice in that year. Scary? What are dreams? What are they for? Dreams are regarded as “windows” of the “the personality”, or as “predictors of the future.” (Rayner, 1976). Neurologists like, Sigmund Freud and Carl Gustav Jung, define them as “the most obvious manifestation of the unconscious”, and as “communications from the unconscious” however they are “not necessarily concerned with wishes.” (The Guinness Encyclopedia, 1990; p. 232). A monk, from a famous Japanese anime entitled “Love Hina”, said that, “There is a thin line between dreams and reality” (Love Hina, 2002; http://www.tv-tokyo.co.jp/ ) however, “cursed with short life spans.” (Candice Bergen, actress/ comedienne; http://www.yahoo.com/mail/celest_isis/inbox.htm). There are different kinds of dreams. If a person dreams with weird figures, with mixtures of images, emotions that haunts us for years, which makes us remember for life and primarily cannot be explained or understood are called “peculiar dreams”. Some dreams are quite common, which is often a sign of some emotional weakness in our nature which causes us problems over the years. These dreams are called “recurring dreams”. When one is able to control a dream, it’s called a “lucid dream”. A person has this especially if accompanied by music. Another kind of dream is “nightmare”. Nightmares usually happen to kids. Another is “sexual dream” which, in most cases, is a sign of sexual deprivation or repressed sexual urges, which a person may not be aware of. This kind of dream happens to people in puberty and after puberty stages. It’s not a sin to have this dream. It happens to all and it’s normal. Lastly, there are “prophetic dreams”. These dreams are often connected to intuition. This kind of dream is very interesting and hardly explicable since the science has no appropriate explanation to these issues. (http://www.dream-land.info/dream_article_1.htm) And, why do people dream? People dream because it’s a part of life. They are believed to have come from repressed emotions, conditions or problems, or an unfinished business somewhere in their life. Some say they tell the future. Some say they are the opposite of what is going to happen in reality. For instance, if one dreams about water it means fire. When another dreams about an old person, it pertains to someone younger, and so on. Some say they are just dreams and hold no relations in particular with reality. Some dreams bring good news, just like when numbers appear in someone’s dream and then the person gets up and goes to a lottery outlet and he bet on it, then, he won, that’s good news! And some dreams bring bad news, just like when someone dreams about her teeth falling off her gums, which means death will come to her family member, and the likes. But the notion, that one did not have a dream, is wrong, because people dream several times. However, only one appears to be clear because of what psychologist call the REM or Random/ Rapid Eye Movement. The eyes move very fast in a dream, but may focus on only one part of the dream. (Crofton, 1990; McNally, 1976) As we end, about the dream of the young lady last 2001, guess what happened? If one of you thinks it came true, you’re right. It did in a date that no man in New York will ever forget – September 11, 2001. Remember that dreams may mean the opposite, and the opposite of water is FIRE! Here’s a challenge. Can anyone guess who that young lady was? Well, she’s standing right in front of you. Thank you so much and may everyone dream their sweetest dreams and pray they’ll come true! Speech Prepared by : Ivy B. Escalona For : Prof. Bala Course Code : ELA – 508 REFERENCES: Crofteon, I. (1990). The guiness encyclopedia. Great Britain. Guiness Publishing, Ltd. Derilo, J. (2006). Quotes mo!!!. http://www.yahoo.com/mail/celest_isis/inbox.htm McNally, R. (1976). Atlas of the body. London. Mitchell Beazley Publishers. (2006). http://www.dream-land.info/dream_article_1.htm Viewed in 2002. Love Hina; http://www.tv-tokyo.co.jp/ Interviews from family members and friends.

My Incarnation

2006-10-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

It is now, that i've found my place on Earth...my Gaea! I've loved this place ever since. This is where I grew, where i developed, where i fell in love, where i overflow... I am in my truest form now. So true that no one can ever comprehend. I am Goddess that ones have fallen asleep inside a body, a body who formed me, shaped me to what i am now; She made my ideas, she formed me with her fears and griefs, She created me with laughter, she molded me with love She carried me everywhere, wherever her heart and her mind leads; This is my incarnation. i have come. I have come to make a paradise out of dust, out of nothing but the filthy earth. I will restore this place, again. slowly...slowly... I shall change what has not been changed before... This is my purpose.

effervesce
Definition:	Become bubbly or frothy or foaming.
Synonyms:	fizz, foam, froth, sparkle