Unforgettable Times in My Life - When I Was a Teener...

There were so many things that had happened in my childhood and the rest that were not written are those that are better left unsaid nor accounted for. Graduating from elementary was a big deal for me. I was thinking about how I can be without the friends I've known in elementary. A classmate of mine said that studying in that school is dangerous because there were a lot of fraternities and stuff. But, I want to get thru my studies. When I got back home, my Dad happily announced that I was one of the top ten students who passed the entrance exam in Malate Catholic School. Holding that joy in my heart, I bravely faced the interviewer the next day and in the next few weeks, I enjoyed getting and carrying my books home and read as much as I could after I covered them with plastic. When the class started in June, I told myself "this is it...there's no turning back..." and sighed to myself. I vowed that I'll make it to the top when I get to high school. I did. In my first year in high school, I bagged the 1st place for 4 consecutive quarters and the Best in Religion for the same. It was also then, I was able to join quiz bees and more contests. I had always wanted to get there, on stage, to compete, to prove to myself that I could be number one. But, I never knew, that getting exposed on stage in front of many will lead me to something else. Before I ended my 1st year, I got word from my adviser that I might be transfered to the Cream Section (the top section) by next year. I was a little sad. I will miss the fun I had with my classmates. During my first year was also the first time I joined a group of girls who went out and went to arcade shops and the mall all by themselves. I joined them because I was suppose to have a practice with them in one of our group's house for our role play the next Monday. I went with them without permission. These were the times in my life when I thought I have to change some things in my life. I was bombarded by the idea that I had to be free when I get to my 3rd year and I had to wait from now. Striving for what I wanted, I studied hard and the next school year, I got transfered to the cream section. It was during this year when I learned to tolerate cheating during exams. My classmates warmly welcomed me. I was too in a hurry to befriend them so I was talkative again and told them all about myself even my achievements, which made them a little warded-off from me. I got peers then. We were twelve in the group. I had fun having them around. Our best day was during PE because it was all about gymnastics. It was also the first time in my life to perform a cheer dance with some gymnastics for the Intramurals. I was busy. That exposure led me to be looked at and be known by many especially some one I didn't know who admires me in secret. But, little by little, I have failed my classmates. Some one hated me and throws a lot of words about me just enough for me to hear it though she wasn't talking to me. There was a time when I cried a lot because my peers went away from me one by one. The best thing they left was my nick name. One of them, Nancy Yagisawa'a the name, called me "Ibyang". A name of a storm that led to the suspension of classes. We loved giving notes to each other. But, my peers became less and less visible to me until I felt that they were all against me. So I cried, but I prayed and told myself that someday, they'll understand. I also began to befriend someone in school but she was in the other section. It wasn't long till she became my friend. She actually was surprised to know that I love anime and that I know a little Japanese writing. From that day, she became my best friend. I even consider her as my "twin" for the way we act or say things would end up being identical. We sang Japanese Anime Songs. We even made a translated version of Eto Ranger's ending song entitled "Aitakute" (I Am Missing You). Since she grgew up in Japan, she translated the words to me and I arranged it so the English translation would fit the tune of the song. From there, she also became a part of my peer Ilyne then another one named Karol joined us with three more lower-year levels. We were all so glad to have become friends. We joined drawing contests and some other stuff. This was also the year when I joined the group Youth for Christ. It was different. I attended the youth camp professed and surrendered myself to God in the camp. After this, there were a lot of changes. Some of the close people I was with told me that there was a different light in me. I just noticed that I wasn't that 'closed' to people anymore. A guy, by the name Patrick, went up to me that time and admitted that he admired me since he was 2nd year. I told him that I was 1st year then. He said he knew me when he saw me during the quiz bee. He was there, watching me win the competition. I was surprised. He admired me more when he saw me during the Intrams. I got a little embarassed since I was in my bloomers when me and the rest of the chosen 2nd year students did a cheer dance. That was something. It flattered me and I thanked God for him. Three more gifts were added to my Spirit. I was surprised to know somethings that I never knew I would know which Patrick also knows and no other person does. It was strange. I felt a little weird though but I told myself that if that's the will of God, then, I have to let Him do what He wants of me. It was also this year when a cartoon anime of "Princess Sarah" inspired me a lot as a young lady. I took it to myself that when someone would hurt me, i won't hurt them back but love them and forgive them. Strange, but I was able to do that to all those who hated me and were against me. I even stopped cheating. The next year, Gennie and I are already in third year and things didn't turn out well. Ilyne got mad at me for what I said which I can't remember. Karol became a little hooked with something so she was away. But, Gennie and I made a pact that whatever happens, we'll become the best of friends and stick by each other sides no matter what. We were open about who we are, and what we were made of and what we have become now and what we can do. Even in ideas and some opinions, we seldom fight over them but we know it's just a part of us and we're still together, till now. This was also the time when Patrick got jealous of Ryan (my first guy bestfriend) after knowing that he too had a crush on me. I told Patrick that he's just my bestfriend and that's all. But, Patrick really was too afraid to lose me. I felt like he didn't trust me. So, I became cold to him and broke up with him. He cried for me to come back but I was as cold as ice to him. Ryan and I became best of friends too. Gennie was still there for me. Ryan became an inspiration. Actually, he was the one who would always tease me a lot. I got really mad at him. He made me smile when he played the guitar and sang to me a song sang by True Faith. He really made me feel that he was sorry and that he wanted to have peace with me. That started our friendship. We had a deal to write to each other and see who has written a lot of letters. He was going to a YFC Conference in Iloilo where I wasn't able to go since I got no budget and I had to obey my parents and respect their decision. May 5, he called me on the phone and asked if I could be his bestfriend, and without further thinking i said "yes". So, he was there for me. He was what I consider my soul mate. My letters answers his letters. Everytime I wanted to call him, he would call me and vice versa. I gave him a gift and it fit that one space left on the wall of his room. He was different. Feelings began to build up in me but I disregarded it and focused on the idea that he is just my bestfriend and nothing more. When we held a youth camp, he asked me errands and i do it for him. It was also the time when he suddenly hugged me (which he never did before) and out of the blue, kissed me near my lips. Good thing my hair was long enough to cover my face and my lips. Then, he suddenly said "sorry". I just said that it was okay and that i know that it was unintentional. So, off I went to room. I was thinking, i was quiet. on the day of the youth camp, I wasn't in good shape. I got a little ache in my heart to my Dad. Other than that, I feared that my visions might come true about that day. And so the camp went on and there my visions came true. We were in trouble, I almost got possessed. The participants were seeing something else. Worst was, one participant got possessed. A lot of us household members fell. I was a prayer warrior anda spirit wanted to cut my rosary. The bad spirits were mad at us. I prayed harder and told Jesus to hold the rosary for us. We won the battle. After the camp, what we thought was over, was not. The possessed student still got possessed and some students were also getting a taste of it. Some students were sarcastic about it. Others would laugh about it and joke about it. Some were too engrossed that they would tell everyone about the incident. I had to make them stop. Gennie and I knew just what to do. That was really a big challenge for us. We all prayed that it won't happen again. during my fourth year, Patrick and Ryan were already in college. Patrick still had the nerve to go up to me and plead for me to come back, I forgave him but I never came back to him since I told myself that if i'll be the first to let go of a relationship, eventhough I love him, I won't come back. My friendship with Ryan got really stronger. We even had the same shirt color when he visited me during the Intrams on October 10, 1997. We went out not knowing where to go and caught ourselves getting inside HP and took our first duet picture. I also attended my first and last YFC Conference in Ultra. I loved the feeling of praising God. I even saw some of the people in my neighborhood. It was also in fourth year where I learned strength and discipline thru the Citizen's Army Training (CAT). After this, the retreat day. Before the retreat, my classmates were already planning who they want to be with in a room. Whoever i chose was already chosen or laready had someone else in mind. I was thankful that Aileen was still looking for one so I asked if it was okay that I'll be her roommate. She thought for awhile, asked her friend about it and agreed afterwards. I was too shy to ask since I know that most of them don't like me. I cried to God about it. During the retreat, everything was fine. Then, I missed Ryan. I felt that I lost something. Whenever I was quiet, I cried. It was the time when I told them about who I am. Everyone seem to think that i was pretending to be someone else. Maybe, at the least. But, that was only beside the fact that I was hiding my true colors for some reasons that I know they won't understand. After the retreat, it was the time they appreciated me more than before. They were able to loosen up themselves a bit to get near me. But most were still hesitant. This was also the time when Ryan and I opened up about how we felt for each other. It was the sweetest feeling I ever had. I wished that it won't end. I feel so peaceful and happy when I am with him. It was a different feeling. Ryan was my first love. I was his, too. But, he never courted me. I was not expecting him to anyways. It was enough fir me to know that he feels the same about me. This was the year when Grace lost her father. We all mourned with her and we fought back to the administrators of the school who threatened us that we might not graduate if we insist on going to the burial. We had a deliberation with Sister Raquel and aired our side to her, but it went to waste. We went to the funeral but not during the burial. After a week of rebelling hearts, during a class in CL, our teacher left us because our assignment was to reflect on something. We know she, too, was mad at our section. We fought as one. So the whole class decided to reflect with a touch of religious music and do our reflections the way we feel it. Little by little, you can hear something sniffing and weeping. Then, I, who seemed not too affected, began comforting some of them. To my surprise, i got affected, too, and started to cry. I began to think about how miserable I feel whenever I know that someone hates me. Then, the officers of the class decided to have an open forum. There, they aired their problems. Unluckily, I got in the hot seat first. So they told me why they hate me. Some said they thought I was the one telling teachers the reason why their noisy. Some said they just felt the same because their friend hated me so they hated me as well. Some think I was a loner and unapproachable. Some thought that I might get mad on something. Some thought I cannot be teased or anything and that I was too sensitive, and so on and so on. One friend, Avy, asked me how on earth was I able to stand when I know that everyone hates me. She said I was strong. I told her that I remembered what Ryan told me, "Let go and let God". She was surprised to know that because she said if she was in my shoe, she would've not stayed in that room and had herself transfered. They asked if I was mad at them. I told them that I don't have the right to get mad because that was how they felt for me and I couldn't do anything about it. From there, I cried and they hugged me and apologized. After me, everyone had a taste of being in the hot seat. That experience made us even closer to each other. Some may have stayed aloof to me but, for me, they are friends. I got other friends from the other building, the BHS. Stone was one. The closest one I had, who eventually also had a crush on me but never pursued his feelings and treated me as a sister. From Stone, I befriended, Allan, Mac, Erick, and Derick. I was happy. Our friendship started when we held a youth camp in Antipolo. I was full of life. I smiled a lot. Gennie and I talked about many stuff after the camp. Soon, graduation came. Exchanging pistures was really rampant when we got our pocket sized pictures. Nothing was left for me. But that's okay. At least my ID's are still alive. I graduated in CAT as the Best Private Cadette and the Best in Tickler Memorization. In our Commencement Exercises, after all the ceremonies and awards, where i got a medal for being the Best Officer of YAC and Marian Circle, 2nd place in a Poetry Writing Contest and Best Member of the Forensics and MArian Circle (which all came as a surprise) I hugged everyone I befriended. Among the guys, I hugged Stone. Among the girls, I hugged those I was with during the CAT, my peers, and hugged Gennie tightly. I went off my way, out of the corners of MCS with a smile and with a heart of gratitude and thought about coming back some day to serve my Alma Mater.